32 comments

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  noah

  8 months ago

  I think these are pretty funny, but I don't like how they are the main headline on the front page.
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  Will

  8 months ago

  I had to scroll up to make sure I wasn't reading an article on The Onion's website. I still don't believe this is real.
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  Kansas for Obama

  8 months ago

  I'm a red-blooded Kansas American, and I voted early for Obama.
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  Pennsylvania

  8 months ago

  “The real Americans are the America-loving Americans who stand up for America and the American way. Because what would America be without these real Americans? - Palin
  
  That's a mouthful. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS WOMAN IS ONLY REMEMBERED AS A TRIVIA QUESTION. Go back to Alaska. Ohh, and by the way, don't waste any more time in Pennsylvania, we're voting Obama, just like every other state with thinking people.
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  Miss Lady Liberty

  8 months ago

  She is three shades of crazy goof-ball. It's always a Big Time Wrestling moment for her. I am way tired of listening to her belittling remarks. With Palin we can count on being bad mouthed and loosing our job if we don’t match her carpet. Yep, you're a real American Palin; you overlook the needs of others while you slurp up goodies for yourself. Do as I say not as I do. That should be your motto. Pretty on the outside ugly on the inside; Caribou Barbie needs re-called. Definitely some lead in her paint.
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  Shawn M

  8 months ago

  I am confused, I understand Bruce McCall is a humorist, I just need to make sure the statements made by Sarah Palin in this article are no a parody. If she really speaks this way, we should all bow our heads in shame. That almost makes GW Bush sound as eloquent as Vincent Price.
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  Dr. Blue

  8 months ago

  During Palin's most recent brain transplant they used a moose brain, proof that this type of experimental procedure will not be used again. No offense to the moose.
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  Joe

  8 months ago

  Ok. I had to read that first paragraph about 5 times before I figured out it was a joke. Then after I read the first comments, I had to go back and read it again to make sure. How bad is that?
  
  And by the way, if she spent $150,000 on clothes, why does she always show up in either that red leather jacket or a red jacket-type top, and a black skirt?
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  Tahut

  8 months ago

  After reading it I not sure what the policy Obama is being challenged with. Too much jingoism obscuring her intent for me to tolerate and comphrend.
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  Keith Berry

  8 months ago

  This woman is Alaskan which is one of the last states to be allowed into our country, and she claims to know what being American is! She is American, because she stands for stale policies that represent the interests of her state coffers, mainly big oil! How is that American?! She's more like Mussolini and able to go wherever the wind blows. She will be exposed as one of the biggest dumb dumbs in American history, right next to W. That movie Idiocracy is hopefully available in Alaska, because it is so stupid but very relevant in states like Texas and Alaska.
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  m

  8 months ago

  can anyone tell me what part of the country is the most american? i am confused i thought we were all americans, just like in virginia "the real virginian's". i live here and i don't know if i am a virginian or not or if i am even an american. man i am lost here. palin needs to go back to alaska and her bridge to nowhere....because that is where she is headed. what an airhead
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  steve Verbancsics

  8 months ago

  "and never shot anything dead." ???? Just exactly when did she shoot a human being dead and what exactly would make that some badge of honor or requisite to being patriotic. I think that if Sarah ever talked to people that have actually shot fellow human beings dead in a war that she would find that most of them would not find a tremendous amount of glory in having to have done it.
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  david d

  8 months ago

  One would think that the picture of the jester's hat would clue people into the fact that this isn't a factual article.
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  iconklee

  8 months ago

  Just when you think Sarah-P could not possibly utter one more ignorant, inane and baseless comment, she outdoes herself -- yet again. If every American responded to what Sarah-P encourages: "shoot something DEAD" ... no animals would walk the earth. How despicable to brag about ending a life -- any life. She has no regard for anyone, anything other than her ambition and end game. Psychologists would term her a "sociopath" ... one who lies without thinking (automatically; because it's easier than telling the truth). One who only thinks of herself. Very much like poor little Caylee's despicable mother, Casey Anthony. They really are the same "type."
  It just hasn't suited Sarah-P's agenda to do to her children what she obviously intends for the United
  States of America: total sublimation to her will!
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  Mav Rick

  8 months ago

  Satire, folks. Satire.
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  Angel

  8 months ago

  Yeah, we sure are getting touchy, aren't we? You betcha! I have never shot anything dead, but consider myself "real" American anyway. She is such a douche nozzle. Now that they can get touchy about.
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  That Dude

  8 months ago

  Secessionist Sarah wants Alaska to leave America. After she loses this election she will initiate legislation to destroy our union.
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  galoob

  8 months ago

  Bruce McCall? I'd say this was a parody. It got me for a second, though.
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  Independent Mind

  8 months ago

  I highly doubt this is a credible story, especially given it's source.
  
  That Dude - Your second grade education is showing. Most states have in their CONSTITUTION that Secession is allowed. It's obvious ou weren't in my college calculus class.
  
  Iconlee - Do you beleive everything some says? I guess so. I have people like you that work for me, and they hang on my every word. Pitiful.
  
  JC - Dude, see Iconlee. you guys are pitiful. No wonder this country is in this shape. You guys are so easy to fool. Gobble up anything anyone says as the gospel, yet can't stand it when you have to pay the consequences for following blindly. Let me look into your future.....Your destined to be laid off soon.
  
  Rudy - Wow, since you can't think of anything intelligent to say, you just start cutting on people. NICE. I know I have won an argument at work when the other person has nothing else intelligent to add, well, short of a comment like yours.
  
  Keith - What did you expect her policies in Alaska to be centered around? Growing corn? What a dumb a%^ comment. Based upon your comment, I really suspect you shouldn't be making fun of anyone in those two states. I'm thinking you could not meet their ACT or SAT minimums for a state university. OH - by the way , Alaska was one of the most strategic acquisitions ever made by this country. You (falsely) make it sound like they were begging to be a part of the union. Again, so many pitiful history buffs on this thread.
  
  Joe - If you saw the expenditures for both side, you would be sick. It's just due to the slant of the news that this makes headlines. Look around, understand your surrounding Joe. One step at a time.
  
  Miss Lady Liberty - Where is the substance to your statement? Pretty blanket *(and petty for an adult)...sounds like the women who gossip at my work. They have nothing better to do. Please rise above your petty behaviour while you still can. Highly unlikely though.
  
  Pennsylvania - How are all the thinking people doing there with no work? How are those unions treating you? I guess Murtha was right(not that I beleived it at first), you are all a bunch of rednecks. P.S. I think your buddy Murtha just cost you your state. Old saying - "It's better to be keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool rather than oepn your mouth and remove all doubt."
  
  Will - God belss you, you have enough sense to question something that looks out of place. Discerment folks. Your instructed to have some.Take notes from Will.
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  Swami_Binkinanda

  8 months ago

  Alaska did want to join the Union. Beginning in 1866 with the Western Union Telegraph Expedition, which was secretly doing reconnaissance on the territory for the US gov't. prior to the purchase arranged between Seward and De Stoekel. After the Gold Rush, the miners had to create their own government structure because the state was being managed by the Revenue Cutter Service, the proto-Coast Guard. Once they finally got the Feds to run it as a territory, the desire for statehood was a huge movement not achieved until 1958. At UA-Fairbanks, the administration building is Constitution Hall, where the state constitution was hammered out. Today, there are banners all over Anchorage celebrating statehood.
  It was only after the hillbillies and white trash of Oklahoma and Texas started Tom Joad-ing their way to Alaska for the Trans Alaska Pipeline construction that we started seeing these separatist and post-Confederate America hating terrorists with their low class ways showing up and filling up the marginal spaces outside of towns-North Pole, Badger Road, Wasilla-and filling up rural places on the road system with proto-Koresh compounds.
  And state constitutions allowing secession were pretty much null and void after 1865, don't you think? Certainly before then it was by definition anti-American to want to leave America.
  The GOP can certainly spend as much money as they have on makeup, clothing, speech lessons, and adult education classes, but they can't make my governess any smarter than she already isn't. She operates on instinct and guile, which works okay when your opponent is another wolf, wolverine, or bear, but not so well against people. I think she not only screwed the pooch in Alaska with her crookedness and petty vindictiveness but might have fixed the GOP for two election cycles at least, and longer if the GOP keeps coming out with these neo-Nazis like Michele Bachmann and these blatant liars who get caught on video or audio saying stupid things, then lie and spin their way further in a hole.
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  Kevin

  8 months ago

  One should not claim that all unfavorable media is biased against their position. Governor Palin has repeatedly redirected comments like talking about the how patriotic stamps are when she should be discussing important subjects.
  
  If stamps were the reason why we bailed out the financial institutions then I would expect to hear about postage in the next stump speech but the reason why Governor Palin talks with such jingoistic enthusiasm is because she does not have the background to engage in deep thought at the federal level.
  
  And if she would like to be vice president, then I suggest she learn the duties of the vice president. She made the same comments during the debate, so her claim that she was simplifying the role for a third grader is completely ridiculous.
  
  On November 5th, she can fly back to Alaska with her brood (allowing the taxpayers of Alaska to pick u p the tab) and abuse her power as governor some more until the next election. Maybe by then she will take an American Government class, and throw in some Foreign Relations and Civics as well... that way Russia doesn't rear its head over any clouds anytime soon.
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  jc

  8 months ago

  Whatever!!!
  people can believe what they want but since her husband belonged to a separist group, I am thinking she is trying to say what 'she' thinks the people want to hear.
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  jets

  8 months ago

  American stamps can only be franked in America???!!  Why, I am franking stupified by Palin's firm grasp of the obvious.
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  Don Kennedy Albert

  8 months ago

  Seriously, I can't tell if this is journalism or fiction. I'm not sure whether these are actually Palin's words or satire.. If the latter, well done! If the former, I'm really frightened that there are people who are supporting the candidacy of someone this intellectually uninspiring for this high an office.
  
  I mean, she had some people fooled at first, but then she didn't know (and didn't admit to not knowing) what the Bush Doctrine was in the Gibson interview, then spouted utter nonsense to Couric because she didn't know the word "moratorium", and now has shown the world that she's willing to use the word "preconditions" without knowing what IT means.
  
  She has most recently become an effective fear monger and race baiter on the stump. A handful of conservatives are (valiantly or self-protectively I cannot say) crying "foul" and distancing themselves from her and from the choice of her on McCain's part, but hoards of frighteningly ignorant and xenophobic supporters have come out of the woodwork to cheer her on at rallies.
  
  Is this all ultimately religious? Is that it? People want a cheerleader (or dictator) for their social agenda and will thus accept someone like Sarah Palin – at the cost of putting the security of our country in jeopardy? Is it that they're not interested in qualifications to run a large country, only interested in an agenda that will bring us another step closer to theocracy?
  
  I ask because I just can't believe that people are unable to see that she is not qualified to hold high office. I can't believe that people are that dumb. I think people fall for the con artist because they want to believe that he (or, in this case, she) isn't a con artist. In this case it may simply be because they see her as a means to their all-important end of doing what they think to be the will of God.
  
  I finally understand the thinking of otherwise intelligent people who supported Nazism or, more recently, jihadism: It's not that they're that gullible; it's that they want to be.
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  twoidhd

  8 months ago

  What a bunch of BS. This woman and her husband were all for Alaska removing itself from the US of A....therefore, total bullshit!
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  checkered.1

  8 months ago

  You morons. This is supposed to be funny. If you'd look at the bottom of the column, in italics it says the writer is supposed to be a "humorist." Unfortunately, he's not and one hopes he doesn't actually get paid for these columns as they're not vaguely funny.
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  Kwaayesnama

  8 months ago

  I have a problem with GOP lies. They look us in the eye and tell us something without blinking, then they wave the American flag and we the people fall in line.
  Remember:
  1. We have to send our sons and daughters to die looking for weapons of mass destruction, hurry up pull out the flag and wave like hell!
  2. Sedam Hussein was responsible for 9-11, hurry up pull out the flag and wave like hell!
  3. Iraqi oil will pay for the war, hurry up pull out the flag and wave like hell!
  4. Our economy is basically strong, hurry up pull out the flag and wave like hell!
  5. John McCain campaign statement that he is not able to use a computer because of his suffering as a prisoner of war.
  a. July 13, 2008 New York Times interview john McCain said: “I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need.”
  b. On Rachel Ray John McCain whipped up a batch of ribs. What different muscles are used to barbecue ribs that you would have to use on a keyboard?
  It is time to look in their eyes – not blink – and say “Stop lying to us?”
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  tony

  8 months ago

  How to reply... should it be to the disgraceful bitch or the much more disgraceful media giving her kind the stage to call to arms all the anti American trash that would destroy America.
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  toosinbeymen

  8 months ago

  putz
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  millie

  8 months ago

  Has she lost her mind? What about the Alaska Independent Party that she and her husband are tight with. The Media should had talked more on this . I think it is a shame they did not. Palin is dangerous. Everytime she open her mouth a lie come out.
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  rudy

  8 months ago

  Palin needs to get back to her crack dealer so she add a few more "Americans, America's and Americas" to her sentences.
  
  No wonder it took her five colleges to graduate in journalism... my sixth grader has better speaking skills. Too bad she did not know the red leather went out of style after Michael Jackson stopped wearing one in the 80's.
  
  Go buy some more clothes on the taxpayer, and buy a few plane tickets for the little ones while you are at it. I hear they have great crack dealers in them, there Alaskan Jails.
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  jc

  8 months ago

  ROFL!!
  
  People must think I'm crazy, sitting here in my office reading this and laughing hysterically. Is this really what she did? She addressed the Flag and a sheet of stamps as though they were listening? She regalled over stamps?Were those really the words she used? She has never seen stamps before? Is she a stamp collector? Talk about crazy desperate! Please tell me this is a joke parody and that the woman who "could be" President of the United States didn't say and do all of this...ugh.
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